Steady as we go

When Andy and I got married, we realized we didn't really have a song. I thought we had a song in "God Bless the Broken Road" but he's not a country fan. The night he proposed, he had that song going in the background, and you'd think it might be our song but no.

I talked him into dance lessons for our wedding (I was justified after being coerced into coed softball the summer we were getting married. I had nightmares about black eyes on my wedding day) and we chose a Sinatra favorite, "Just the Way you Look Tonight." It was a sad display of dancing, but I'm sure we were adorable.

We still needed a first dance that was more Andy's speed (aka rocking in a circle). He is a big Dave Matthews fan and played for me one night the song "Steady as We Go". It was so sweet, and so nice, and it fit us. So it was.

I was thinking about this tonight since I answered a poll on "our song". But I went back and played it again and thought how much it fits us right now.

We've been going through some tough times lately where everything seems overwhelming. There is so much to do, so much to prepare for, and so much that I am worrying about. As I have been pointing out to my mother (and to everyone, really for years) I am a worrier by nature. I come from a long line of worriers, it's what we do, it's what we're good at. I am a productive worrier, it makes me get things done, and be prepared.

I worry, I plan, I research, I stress. . .and Andy takes care of the rest. The kitchen, the dishes, keeping me fed, emptying the litter boxes, making us Christmas shop. It makes for an unbalanced team, but it works. I am pretty much done everyday at 4:00 when I come home, so it is up to him to pick up the slack. I am grateful, and I love him, and on we go. . . Steady as We Go.

And in other news. . . . :-)

17 weeks - Thanksgiving at my Grandma's. We've been taking important pictures on that porch for a long time.
The next day we always go to my parents to have leftovers and decorate the tree. This is a traditional photo we always take in front of the tree. Next year, it's going to look a lot different. 18 weeks. This is the week that people at work started touching my belly and saying things like "Whoa, you popped!". Whatever, I think I popped around 8 weeks, but we think it just looks different now. And I'm actually gaining weight, so it must be going to the right place. Just a random shot of our girl. Can I say here just how much I love my camera??? This is one of a series of photos where you can see the whole action shot.
Oh Christmas Tree. . . . .

Saturday we went to Andy's grandparents property to chop down our tree with the rest of his family. It was freezing, it was beautiful, and it is such a fun tradition. A brief picture synopsis of our day.



"Steady As We Go"
I walk half way around the world,
Just to sit down by your side.
And I would do most anything girl,
To be the apple of your eye.
Troubles they may come and go,
But good times they are the gold.
And if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Any place you wanna go,
Know I'll be next to you.
If it's treasure baby you're looking for,
I'll search the whole world through.
Know troubles they may come and go,
But good times they're the gold.
So if the road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

When the storm comes,
You shelter me.
And I don't say a word,
And you know exactly what I mean.
In the darkest times,
You shine on me.
You set me free.
And keep me steady as we go.

So if your heart rings dry my love,
I will fill your cup.
And if your load gets heavy girl,
I will lift you up.
Troubles they may come and go,
But good times be the gold.
So if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Updates, schmupdates and some pretty big news

There really is no excuse for not updating your blog in this long. I know that. For anyone still reading, I humbly apologize. What have I been up to you might be wondering???

First of all, it is November 26th. I did start this post on the 14th, and then. . .well. . .

In no particular order. . .Izzy lost her claws and her womanhood and has been recovering. Lily is busy taking care of her. She came back from the vet much cuddlier and sweeter. Go figure.


I took a two week cake decorating class. It was fun, but exhausting. There is a lot of prep work I wasn't thinking about when I signed up. I came to one conclusion after the class. I found one more thing that I am not good at. I really want to be a crafty person. I do. But one craft at a time I'm starting to realize that I am not cut out to craft. Martha Stewart has nothing to worry about. I can't sew. I can't crochet. I can't knit. I am not a great scrabooker without a lot of help. I can't paint (other than walls) and I'm never going to make my own holiday decorations. Here are my attempts at cake decorating. . .

I spend a lot of time on the couch. Specifically in this corner of the couch with my trusty heating pad. My chiropractor has figured out that I have a rib that is popping in and out of alignment. I wake up feeling fine each morning, but by the time I get home from school, I am in pain and mainly hang out on the couch. Which sometimes leads to napping. I feel lazy, but it's all that I can do. I'm really hoping that this starts to get better, and isn't something that will only get better when the babies get here!

I found this adorable steal at a consignment shop. It's hard to find places to wear it around here in winter, but I couldn't turn it down.

And speaking of the belly, I keep getting bigger (14 weeks)
And bigger (15 weeks)

And bigger (16 weeks - please don't mind the underwear. I woke up this morning and said to Andy, Holy Crap, I look pregnant when I'm naked now! I didn't realize until this week that I didn't take another picture during week 16. Oops!)

And bigger (17 weeks)

At our 16 week ultrasound we had some big news. They are pretty sure that we have a boy and a girl in here! I was getting pretty sure it was going to be two boys, so the idea of a little girl is really fun. I'm not a very girly person, but I am so excited about pink these days!

I'll try to keep the updates coming in a more timely fashion. If nothing else, I want this record of this time!

We have our cribs picked out, we are registered, we have decided to give cloth diapering a go, and I'm officially feeling like I'm out of the puking zone. It has been a couple of weeks, and I think I'm safe. Saying that out loud (well, to cyberspace) seems like a really bad idea, but we'll see.

How are all of you?

Happy Halloween!

Since blogger hates me today, I guess I will start my post with the picture summary I planned on putting at the end!

Our pumpkins. As always, Andy's rocks, mine looks. . .well lets just say I have a great bunny, but it's supposed to be a cat.


We had way too much fun with this, making the pumpkins for the babies.

Our dog really does like dressing up, I swear! Lily as Yoda.

Izzy practicing to be a Ninja next year.

It's fall! Thought we should do a belly pic outside this time.

I'm not even going to apologize. My blogging habits, are just changed now, okay?

My husband still rocks. I'm too wiped out by the time I get home on Fridays to post it, but he continues to rock every week. I love that he can't keep his hands off my belly. He is always talking to the Nuggets, asking how they are and rubbing my belly. I can only imagine what will happen when he can feel them actually kicking in there! In addition to that, he continues to pick up the slack around here, shopping, cleaning, and taking care of things. With minimal complaining.

The belly is getting bigger, the scale is staying the same. I know that I should be grateful that they are living off the fat in other parts of my body that is disappearing just a little, but I worry that I'm a bad twin mama who should be eating more to make up that weight I should have put on by now.

I'm 14 weeks now. 14 weeks!!! I have now switched from worry about miscarriage to worry about delivering too early and losing them then, but I think that is normal post IF. I am feeling a little more relaxed, and not freaked everytime I go to the bathroom because something felt like it was leaking (damn progesterone supplements).

We have our cribs picked out. They are by Stanley in the Young America collection. We are waiting for a good furniture sale (they are at one of those big furniture stores) to order them, and we have two options depending on what we have cooking in there. Hopefully we will find out at our 16 week ultrasound. Fingers are crossed! I honestly think I'll be okay with anything we have in there, but I know that DH is hoping for at least one boy. If it's two, I think he already has the blue paint picked out for the nursery, lol. We also started a registry. . . hey, don't judge. We mainly wanted to test my theory that once you're on the radar you start getting coupons. We've already started buying diapers when we have coupons, and it seems like a good idea to have a few things around here once we start getting coupons.

The past few months have gone by in a blur. I can't believe it's November! Starting to feel better means starting to realize just how crappy I had been feeling. Food is actually starting to sound good again. Well, except for chicken. The babies are pretty against anything chicken. Red meat is fine. I think it's probably a way of asking for more iron. I am going back and forth between the regular pre-natals and Flintstones. When I feel like puking at pill taking time, I skip the pre-natals. I thought I was done with the puking. Not quite, I found out this weekend.

We had a boring Halloween. I was asleep on the couch by about 9:45 after falling asleep in the bathtub. We didn't have any parties this year, and we missed trick or treat night (it was on Monday last week - why?). We did however carve pumpkins, take silly pictures of "the babies" with their pumpkins and dress up the dog. We are cool like that.

How pregnant are you?

That is the question. Or at least it was last week. I was so confused I didn't post a belly picture at all. Or a post. Because this is the information last week that really threw me off.



Friday (11w5d) I called the RE to ask about heating pads and Therma Care for my back pain (which finally seems better - thank God!). Since I had the nurse on the phone, I also asked if she could tell me what they considered the second trimester. Since when I looked it up last week, I discovered that I could be considered in my second trimester on one of those nifty IVF calculators.





If I want to go by Development: October 19. By Gestation: October 29. By Conception: November 6. Huh? Okay, that was confusing enough. Until nurse looks at my chart and says, oh, well you'll be 11 weeks tomorrow, so. . . .

Wait, wait, back up. I said, "I thought I would be 12 weeks on Sunday" to which she checks my chart again and then explains to me that the way they calculate it, you count back 14 days from your ET and use that as the first day of your last menstrual period and count from there. I almost laughed. These are the people who took my husband's sperm and used a needle to insert it into an egg. Then they took these embryos and put them in me. But we're using the good old make up an imaginary period and date it from there? I'm pretty sure we all know when conception occured. In the petri dishes.





So that left me all weekend contemplating the fact that I might only be 11 weeks. And my belly pics and blog entries would all be off, and I would lose a week in my quest for the second trimester goal. Oh, and here might be a good place to stick in that I'm worried about not gaining any weight yet. Clearly it is redistributing in my body, but I'm worried I'm not getting enough for the babies.





I had an appointment today, and planned to ask my doctor about our week dilemna. So in walks, well hobbles, our RE (the old one is back in the saddle, so to speak, even in a leg brace), who looks at my chart and says "You're 12 weeks now, right?" I said, "I think so" and so he decided we should go ahead and do the NT scan today! I'm sticking with my measurements (and his) from here on out!






Everything looked great. Here are the nuggets in their latest u/s. It took forever to get a shot of Baby B. Apparently Baby B's have a rough time. They are farther away from the "exit", are harder to find with the ultrasound, harder to monitor during labor, etc. Our little nugget was really resisting the ultrasound for the NT scan.


Nugget A:
Nugget B:

Tonight's belly pics (that shirt is going to have to go to the back of the closet, methinks):

Last weekend we went apple picking. Apples are one of the foods right now that taste really good, all the time. So of course, being dorks. . .

And finally, since I missed this last week, my 11 week belly. I know it's just the shirts, but I think I look bigger in this one!

Long overdue for an update. . .

I've been a very bad blogger lately! This post is long overdue. I have pictures from our u/s and belly shots from. . .last week. Sorry!

I'm home sick from school today (I was home yesterday too) with a sinus infection. Oh what fun. I have always been prone to these, and they are always annoying, but I can't tell you how much I miss these little things. Advil cold and sinus and Sudafed nighttime.

I've had people ask if I miss drinking (not at all), coffee (surprisingly not much as of right now) or lunchmeat (eh, just a little). But the things I miss right now about being pregnant all involve drugs. I can't take Advil for my headaches, and right now I would give just about anything for a decongestant. It's so strange being so worried about what goes into my body at any given moment. I worry about what I eat, how much I'm able to eat, why I'm not putting on weight, and if I'm getting enough to drink. I'm worried about the drugs that do go into my body, and the ones that shouldn't be going in.

I can't believe I'm 11 weeks pregnant. It is still so hard to fathom that there is life growing inside me, and that it is okay to be hopeful and optimistic about this pregnancy. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And in the meantime - two healthy little hearts beating away, four arms and four legs wiggling around, and babies that are swimming around inside of me. It's incredible. At our ultrasound last week I couldn't see the pictures very well, but I watched Andy's face as they focused in our little beans. It was one of those moments where you fall in love with your husband all over again. The look of joy and wonder on his face. . .amazing. We watched them flipping around and moving and were just floored.

I think because of all the movement our pictures aren't the best, but here is a pretty clear shot of one of the babies. Upside down, so you can see the legs and butt at the top, head and arms at the bottom.

And last week's belly. I think I'm losing some of the bloat, and while I still have my bump, it looks, well different. Same shirt as three shots ago:

I haven't taken one yet this week. I will.

Also, meet Dobber! Andy's sister and her husband bought the condo next door to ours, and have started painting and fixing it up. They will be moving in at the end of the month. We are thrilled they will be so close, and Lily is really excited about some of her favorite people being next door, along with her new friend. An 8 week old bulldog named Dobber. And they kind of match!

Big week!

I'm out of the closet at work! Well, almost entirely. On Monday, my principal had asked to see me about a workshop I had gone too. At the end of our chat about that I told her there was something else I wanted to talk to her about. She looked at me, smiled, and said "You're pregnant." She said she had guessed it, something about seeing me in her office recently and guessing.

She is always hard to predict for these announcements (I have heard of coworkers going in and hearing, "Oh God, don't tell me you're pregnant.") so I was pleasantly shocked at how well she took it. I think it helps that I'm due after state testing. I think it has something to do with the fact that she is another Infertile. She had shared with me that she had endometriosis last year when I had my surgery, and she ended up having to adopt as a result. I think she is very supportive of those of us who took the hard road to pregnancy.

So, I shared with my 6th grade team (everyone was very excited) and will announce it to the rest of the staff tomorrow along with the Art teacher who is ALSO expecting twins after IVF who is 3 weeks ahead of me. She's planning the whole thing - maybe a Power Point, and it should be fun.



I wouldn't have told this early, but as you can see in my recent pics, it's getting hard to hide. I didn't want everyone to guess, and shared with my principal that I was nervous about it going well. We've had a lot of infertiles in our building and I know how supportive everyone is going to be.


In other big news. . .I'm off the PIO shots! I was supposed to be done as of Saturday, but my RE office forgot to order the suppositories when they were supposed to. They were overnighted to me yesterday (I LOVE the pharmacy we deal with) and last night I started my first progesterone supplement. I take them twice a day instead of the once like with the IUI's so I'm expecting plent of grossness. Oh well. My butt is ready to heal. I'm curious to see how long it takes for the lumps to go away.



9 weeks, 2 days. . .rocking the maternity jeans. I realize it's mostly just gas and bloat at this point, but I have to say, I love my little bump! If only I could get rid of the matching bump in the the trunk.



Just a little shot of our other little one. She's getting so much bigger! The vet says she has big paws. Mostly these days she uses them for tormenting our older cat by pouncing on him. But doesn't she look sweet in this picture? Aw, cute Izzy!

There are no words

. . .to describe what a feeling it was today at the RE. We'll start with this -

Today we not only got to SEE two little hearts flickering away, we actually got to hear them. I couldn't believe how amazing that was to actually hear their little heartbeats. Baby B has caught up, and both babies are measuring 8w4d. That is only 1 day behind where I should be, and last ultrasound they were 4 days behind. The RE said that everything looked good, healthy and the babies were looking great.

I feel so much better and so blessed. I really feel like this is real now, and that things might be okay. I go back in a week and a half, and I hope Baby B might be turned a little better next time so we can see both of their profiles. They will learn eventually how picture obsessed Mommy is.

I had a full first OB workup today, bloodwork, urine sample, breast exam, thyroid exam, etc. and it sounds like everything is going great.

Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers. I truly believe that these babies are thriving on love and good wishes.

Is this what they call "popping"?

Dear Blog,

It's been 8 days since my last post. . . where has the time gone? Oh yeah, it's been me, feeling like puking, and then sometimes really puking from about the time I get home from school until I go to bed. My social life has been miserable, and while I'm aiming for bed early every night, the sickness sometimes makes that hard.

But I am pregnant and I love my babies!

But they are not being very nice. I've reminded them that Mommy needs to eat if they want nutrition, and if they want oxygen I can't be throwing up my asthma drugs at night. So far they are unimpressed. Luckily, most days I have been okay at school, I just wish this year's class could be like last year's. I am so tired of yelling and getting no response. They really are different being this age.

Our next ultrasound is Friday, and I am so nervous. We've gotten so attached to my little beans, and we are getting used to the idea of double strollers and a bigger car. It's scary to think something could have gone wrong, and this week is crawling waiting for my appointment.

I have to say there is one sign that seems to point to multiple babies. . .behold the belly!

I'm thinking my secret isn't going to be much of a secret much longer. I am thinking about coming out at work after my ultrasound on Friday - I can't keep hiding this! I feel like the actress on TV who is pregnant but her character isn't. I hide behind desks, my lunchbox, I try not to let anyone who doesn't know see me from the side. . .I just need a big potted plant to carry around and it would be great.

8w3d. Holy crap. It didn't look like that a couple days ago. I think I popped!

7 weeks - oh the gagging

Well, the morning sickness/all day sickness is kicking in. Still not actually throwing up, but the gagging is getting out of control. At first it was with swallowing pills. Then it was if I was eating something the babies decided they didn't like. And now, it is just happening randomly. Like in the car. Or at school. Or just now since I'm thinking about it apparently.

I think we've settled on temporary nicknames for the beans. They've been Lenny and Squiggy all weekend, and it might stick. They are apparently vegetarians. Meat of any kind is making me (you guessed it) gag. They are already getting a kick out of messing with Mommy.

But I am starting to worry more about little Baby B. Since both babies were measuring behind and we couldn't see a heartbeat on Baby B, I'm starting to worry that we'll lose a twin. It's horrible that I can't keep being happy about this pregnancy, but everything worries me and scares me. It's like I can't believe we were this lucky, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

All prayers for Baby B growing and sticking would be appreciated!

And for the exciting part - the belly. I post these for the pudgy among us! I still haven't gained or lost any weight, which is actually weird. I'm used to fluctuating throughout the month. I'm down 10 pounds from stims (thank God!) but have been holding steady. And once again I want to say, I don't think my belly looks pointy in person.