Mamma Mia

Here we go again

Amelia Elizabeth

June 16 at 9:02 pm

7lbs, 5 oz  20 inches

Love at first sight

So much to say, so little time to post.  Things are going very well.  Better than I had hoped for.  I was able to deliver her the "normal" way, with just a little help from the doctor after I went into labor on my own.  I have other first sight photos where she is all goopy and kind of blue, but this is one of my favorites from the entire day.  Oh, and the post title?  The only thing we can get Maggie to call her at least for now.  Mamma Mia is one of their favorite songs, and I should have known that would happen the moment I looked at her and thought Mia.  Eh, every girl needs a theme song, right? 

The picture will change

I think I am having a baby this week.  I go back and forth between being excited to meet her, and being a little bit terrified of having three kids.  I mean really, what were we thinking?  Tonight we went out to dinner for one last hurrah as a family of four.  I was having contractions as we were leaving the house and the kids were just miserable at dinner.  Maggie (our normally great dinner companion) insisted on being on someone's lap the whole meal.  Ben was so restless and agitated before dinner came that I took him for a walk and with me to the bathroom.  This usually works to get him a little exercise and a chance to hang with Mommy for a few minutes.  Tonight he climbed out under the door of the stall on his belly while I was peeing.  Thank God we were the only ones in the bathroom and he couldn't figure out the exit door. 
It was one of those moments where I was thinking, why do I have kids, and why am I having another one?  What are we, crazy?  I can remember, of course, that she was a surprise, and we didn't really do this thing on purpose.  No sane person really sets out to have three kids in two years and two months. 

It is a very different feeling going into this little girl's upcoming birthday.  I am no longer feeling such an overwhelming sense of becoming a mother because of course I have already done that.  But this time, what I keep thinking so much about is that I am giving my children a sister. 

I think I have posted about this before, but I have a very slim family tree.  I am an only child and my parents are both only children.  My Dad doesn't even have cousins.  I am expanding our family by quite a bit.  I always wanted kids.  I always wanted a lot of kids.  I am pretty sure I tried to talk DH into 4 early in our marriage.  Now I can't believe we are about to have three.  I have no experience with adding a child to the family.  I don't have that childhood memory of the first time I met my baby brother, or remember resentment because of some childhood rivalry.  My husband does, and of course when you hear adult siblings reminiscing about childhood pranks and fights, and all that goes with it, when you're an only child you really can't relate. 

I already have fights to referree, my children already understand the concept of sharing, and I have seen sweeter things happen that I could have ever hoped to see, and my first two are only two.  What kind of moments will I see in the future?  What kind of love will I see between sisters, what kind of rivalries might they develop?  How will Ben relate to the girls in the family, will he be the cool brother their friends all have crushes on, or that weirdo one that they giggle about? 

My babies will become a big brother and a big sister.  They will (hopefully) feel some responsibility for this little girl I am growing.  They will constantly have another companion.  I don't think it is as big of a deal to add a kid when you already started with two.  I don't have the internal guilt of taking away my child's only child status, or changing their entire world.  They have always had to share me, but I have two hands and can fit two of them on my lap.  Where do you put the third?  How do I read stories in the rocker to everyone at once?  Will we have enough of us to go around?  We wonder what she will look like, and instead of just a general, will she have my nose, will she have his eyes, I try to picture if she will look like Ben did as a baby, with the sweetest little smile, or have Maggie's wide eyed "I know what you are thinking" wise beyond her years stare.  Will she act like one of them, or have her own way of taking on the world?   

Ready or not, here she comes.  I would love to tell you that she has a name at this point but she doesn't.  I don't know why it is so hard this time.  She has a nursery that is almost done, some new clothes and a lot of hand-me-downs and a Mommy who is hoping to do the absolute best she can to give her a life she will be happy with.  There are already a few things she has going right for her.  She has the best Daddy in the whole world, one who will rock her, soothe her, play with her, take care of her, and love her with all of his heart.  She has extended family who can't wait to meet her, and to see what she looks like.  She has a big sister who will teach her so much and a big brother with the biggest heart.  She has a Mommy who is determined to do the best she can, who is going to love her, and teach her, and take care of her. 

Who needs a crib anyway, right? 

My SIL was willing to try to do some maternity photos for me, and I wanted to just post a few of them that really show off the enormity of the belly.  Oh, and if you look carefully, the itchiness of the belly, I was fortunate enough to also develop PUPPPS again in the past couple of weeks.  One of those lucky, I beat the odds kind of things again since it isn't common to get it after your first pregnancy.  Lucky ducky me.  Warning - chubby pregnant woman ahead.  There's probably a reason most people don't wait until 38 weeks to do their maternity photos.   

And here we are, a family of four.  Maybe my last shot where it just us four.  One became two, and two became four, and soon we become a party of five.  We will outgrow a booth, we will have to figure out a new way to pose other than one parent per baby.  Things will change, things will stay the same, and we will be on to new adventures. 

Sometime this week. . .that picture will change.  I hope we are ready and I hope she is happy to join us. 

Milestones

So today, June 1, I am hitting two brand new milestones in my life.  First of all, it is my birthday.  33.  Crazy, and unbelievable to me, since I still can't believe I'm in my thirties and I don't think anyone who is my age fits the picture in my head of what people in their thirties are like.  I mean, do you remember shows like 30 something?  Weren't they all responsible adults?  I guess I've been in denial for awhile because when I went to look at my calendar recently I realized that I had written down the wrong age for my birthday this year.  Jen - 32.  Hmm, I guess I'm already ready to start counting backwards? 

And another big milestone today - I am officially able to say that I am as pregnant as I have ever been.  I delivered Maggie and Ben at 36w5d, and I have had that number in my head for so long that it will be strange to have another to remember.  But as of today I am 36w6d, and wondering how long this baby is going to take before she makes her grand appearance.  I had an ultrasound last week and she is measuring a week ahead and approximatley 6 lbs 14 oz.  Which already sounds huge to me for a newborn!  She went ahead and turned around head down, as long as she and my body cooperate, I think I'm ready to officially say that I'm going to try for a VBAC.  I can still change my mind, but I think that it would be a good fit for us, and a better start for me to my life as a Mommy of three.  Hopefully I have at least a couple more weeks because I don't feel like we are at all ready.  There's still a little part of me in denial that this is actually happening.  It's not just a river in Egypt, you know.   

We had a nice memorial day weekend, but I had a sad realization looking through our pictures.  I know I've said before that one of my issues frequently is that I catch things like Andy's knees and other peoples body parts in the background of my pictures.  It's not easy to get a great angle when I'm taking pictures of the kids, and right now, I'm not exactly moving around smoothly to reposition my shots all the time.  Since there are often other adults around when I am taking pictures (especially since the little ones are not always cooperative) it is always an issue.  I do try to include other people in my candids though.  Looking back through family events, or photos from when the babies were newborns, you would see picture after picture of my husband holding a baby, or playing with a baby, everyone who came to visit them, tender shots of grandma's snuggling their grandbabies. . .and occasionally a shot of me.  Or a part of me. 

Now, to be fair, I am always the one with the camera.  If I hand it off to other people, I am typically trying to pose a shot, and well, we've seen how well that works for me lately.  My parents when they are around like to try to include me in pictures (maybe because I'm their only child, or maybe because my Mom has heard this lament before), but they are not always, um, flattering.  So this weekend, especially since I am feeling pretty cumbersome, I had Andy take some pictures.  Thinking I might be in some of them.  Well, I am. 

Can you see me?  In the first one, that made me kind of sad, I am even smiling.  You can tell I thought Andy was trying to include me in the picture of the kids watching the parade.  It's not the most flattering angle or anything, but well, sometimes it's nice to just have photo proof that my kids do have a mother who does things with them.  The second one is practically a belly shot.  Well, belly and knees, but you know what I mean.

I guess this is a common problem when you are the family photographer.  I can show you the camera, but I can't teach you on the spot composition.  I can try to adjust the settings to make it easier for you, but I can't do everything.  I don't stick my hand up during sweet or tender moments with my kids yelling "take my picture please!"  For some reason this weekend it was really bugging me. 

Okay, enough complaining, especially since Andy was reading over my shoulder for much of this post and feeling bad.  Well sorry, I don't write it for you! 

Back to Memorial Day, and then a few photos to play catch up from other things that happened in May. 

We went to the parade with my parents.  It was lucky for us that it wasn't until probably half way through that they realized that people were throwing candy.  When Daddy and Grandpa took them out to the street to collect candy, they thought that was the neatest thing ever. 

 
We went to my inlaws for dinner and brought along our baby pool since it was 90ish that day.  It was kinda funny that a lot of pools open Memorial Day weekend, and ours was one of them this year, lol.  The water was really cold, Maggie seemed to love it, Ben was a little unsure, and my nephew spent a lot of time splashing and dumping water out of the pool.  All in all, good times had by all. 

Looking back at my blog I realized I never really posted pictures from Mother's Day.  As always, my plan involved group photos, and certain people (hint - they are wearing bathing suits above) were not cooperating.  Mainly the one in the trunks.  Here are some of the good, the bad and the ugly from Mother's Day. 

We gave up. 

But hey, this one was cooperative for his one month photo shoot!  It's nice to have practice with my nephew and to think that for awhile at least, I should have one child who can't run away for photos.

 
The next event to catch up on is Andy's cousin's wedding in May.  I had a horrible time with photos at the reception in the forms of a dying flash, weird lighting conditions, and my own unpreparedness of thinking ahead about settings for the camera.  Oh, and the fact that I was chasing toddlers all over the place, pregnant and in heels.  This was another of those Mommy took most of the pictures night, but Daddy caught a couple of Mommy. . .I still can't believe he missed what I thought would have made the best shot - Me, 8 1/2 months pregnant, in heels, holding Maggie and doing the electric slide.  Boo.  Here are a few of my favorites and or outtakes, I'll let you guess which are which. 

On May 20, just like last year, we went outside wearing blue to blow bubbles for JW.  JW is the son of a friend from my MoM group who passed away last year from respiratory complications.  His Mommy is a remarkably strong woman, and I wish I didn't know anyone who had a story like hers. 

And last but not least, a playdate with two of our best buddies.  Olivia, the daughter of my friend Jen and Gianna the daughter of my friend Andrea.  Ben definitely enjoys hanging out with all of the girls, although he needs to work a little on his game.  That first pictures looks a little like he might be holding the door for Olivia, but really, he is trying to car jack her.  In the rest, just some girly girls hanging out, playing with bubbles and chalk.  In the last one I just had to laugh - Gianna is a day younger than my two and an entire head taller than Maggie.  No one believes they are the same age! 

And with that, I'm off.  Happy June.  It's going to be a crazy month, a crazy year, and the start of an even crazier life.  As I've heard somewhere on TV (don't want to go there), it's a crazy life but it's our life.  Big things coming soon!