Big week!

I'm out of the closet at work! Well, almost entirely. On Monday, my principal had asked to see me about a workshop I had gone too. At the end of our chat about that I told her there was something else I wanted to talk to her about. She looked at me, smiled, and said "You're pregnant." She said she had guessed it, something about seeing me in her office recently and guessing.

She is always hard to predict for these announcements (I have heard of coworkers going in and hearing, "Oh God, don't tell me you're pregnant.") so I was pleasantly shocked at how well she took it. I think it helps that I'm due after state testing. I think it has something to do with the fact that she is another Infertile. She had shared with me that she had endometriosis last year when I had my surgery, and she ended up having to adopt as a result. I think she is very supportive of those of us who took the hard road to pregnancy.

So, I shared with my 6th grade team (everyone was very excited) and will announce it to the rest of the staff tomorrow along with the Art teacher who is ALSO expecting twins after IVF who is 3 weeks ahead of me. She's planning the whole thing - maybe a Power Point, and it should be fun.



I wouldn't have told this early, but as you can see in my recent pics, it's getting hard to hide. I didn't want everyone to guess, and shared with my principal that I was nervous about it going well. We've had a lot of infertiles in our building and I know how supportive everyone is going to be.


In other big news. . .I'm off the PIO shots! I was supposed to be done as of Saturday, but my RE office forgot to order the suppositories when they were supposed to. They were overnighted to me yesterday (I LOVE the pharmacy we deal with) and last night I started my first progesterone supplement. I take them twice a day instead of the once like with the IUI's so I'm expecting plent of grossness. Oh well. My butt is ready to heal. I'm curious to see how long it takes for the lumps to go away.



9 weeks, 2 days. . .rocking the maternity jeans. I realize it's mostly just gas and bloat at this point, but I have to say, I love my little bump! If only I could get rid of the matching bump in the the trunk.



Just a little shot of our other little one. She's getting so much bigger! The vet says she has big paws. Mostly these days she uses them for tormenting our older cat by pouncing on him. But doesn't she look sweet in this picture? Aw, cute Izzy!

Livin' the Back-up Plan

I'm having a whiny day. One of those days that makes me feel like a bad person, that makes me mad at myself, and probably makes my husband reconsider. But I'm sure, at some point, I used to be a more positive person. I was cheerful, I had this rosy outlook on life, and I was optimistic for my future. This isn't going to be a happy little post.

Because of the crankiness today, I have been thinking a lot about my life. I remember back in middle school and high school, sitting around dreaming of my life. What I wanted it to be, what I knew I would have, and what I dreamed of. If it didn't work out of course there were back ups. Lowest level of back up being turning into a crazy cat lady. But I was thinking today, I'm living the back up plan.

Now the original plan included some knight in shining armor sweeping me off my feet, and a castle, so I know any one's life would be a disappointment compared to that.

Original Plan: Teach until I have a husband who wants me to stay home with the kids

Reality: Still looking for that teaching job (8 years and counting of nothing full time), my husband laughed at the thought of us surviving on one income, and oh yeah - I CAN'T HAVE KIDS!

Original Plan: Have at least four children, preferably by 30
Reality: Unless they all come at once, four is looking unlikely

Original Plan: Nice big house, front porch with a swing
Reality: Well, I like the condo, really I do

Original Plan: Knight in Shining Armor
Reality: Well, he'll do :-)

Original Plan: Well, fabulously wealthy of course
Reality: Who knew being a grown up would be this expensive?

I had a bit of a melt-down today about the job situation. I really wish I had been less shocked, and more assertive when the principal called. I should have asked her what I was doing wrong, what I wasn't doing, what more I should be doing. Because during the year, I feel like I'm doing a good job. That I'm on top of things, a good teacher, and respected. And then I get passed over and it makes me doubt myself. Life will go on, I know I should be counting my blessings that I HAVE a job, let alone one that has health insurance with an infertility rider, but sometimes I feel like screaming "When is it my turn???" I've been looking for a teaching position for 8 years. I have been a long term sub in my district for 3 years. I've paid my dues, I've put in my time, and yet someone else gets the reward of security.

And to make today even better, I got some scary news. My Grandma was robbed on Friday. Two men apparently broke into her house while she was in the front yard pulling weeds. They only ended up with around $50 cash, but the fact that someone has the nerve to do that to an old lady in broad daylight scares the crap out of me. Thank God she didn't see the second man when she went into the house. What would they have done to her? I don't know if they had guns, or if they would have hurt her, but it scares me.

Life just isn't always fair. I'm so tired of it sometimes.

Good and Bad News

Well, I've had multiple phone calls that fall into good news/bad news. Let's go ahead and start with the bad and get it over with. My principal finally called and they decided someone else gets to go full time this year. I still have a job, they see me there full time eventually, blah blah blah, but I don't get the contract. About two minutes after I hung up with her. . .

The IVF nurse called. We're doing IVF!!! I hadn't really announced it to anyone officially since I didn't know when we could start, but it looks like we are going to be able to get the cycle in before school starts in August. Like just barely squeezing it in. I will probably not be able to take part in the commencement for my Masters, but I'll get over it. We just need to hope that my dysfunctional body does its thing without the hormones this month and gives me a nice short cycle. Think low progesterone thoughts! I should start my two weeks on the pill in about two weeks with ER and ET taking place the week of August 10th.

More good news. . .according to DH's pal Veejay (or something else that sounds like a dirty kind of word) at Dell, my laptop has been shipped and should be arriving tomorrow. With any luck at all (and really, I think I'm due a little bit of luck here) it should be here first thing in the morning. Which means I will be hanging out in my living room ready to jump the DHL guy. Or girl. How freaked out would they be if I kissed them?

Oh, and please, how impressive, two posts in less than 24 hours. Maybe this blogging thing will work out after all.