In which I whine and complain and post photos

So, I know I've hit this ad nauseum, but I am feeling a little overwhelmed with my life right now. I feel like a single, working full time Mom of twins, and I'm tired of it. When DH took this new job, they told him they thought he would only be on this shift for 3-6 months. Well, he was hired in July, it's February, you do the math. No end to see, and I am going crazy. I'm going to end up in the loony bin. I'm too tired, I can't get anything done, and I really would like to try some shared parenting during the week. I love my babies, I love them more than anything and I wish I could spend a little more quality time with them. I'm just so tired at night, or distracted, and with both of them there, I just can't spend the one on one time with them we can on the weekend.

Yesterday (the day I started this post) sucked. The kids were bad at school, Ben had diarrhea (thank you new tooth), they were up until 10:45, I didn't feel good and couldn't fall asleep. Tonight was conferences at school, and so I didn't get to see them until bedtime. I hate being a working Mom. Let me make that clear. I HATE BEING A WORKING MOM.

Now, I know that there are plenty of women who stay home who think it would be great to get out of the house. For a little adult interaction. I admit, having to go to work does force me to shower daily and get out of my pajamas. But, who needs that? I miss my babies, I miss seeing them first thing in the morning when they wake up, and watching them play in the sunlight. I miss relaxing with them, drinking coffee out of a mug, watching the Today show. I miss my summer life, where due to Andy being laid off and me being on summer break, I spent all day hanging out with my family.

Grass and greener, and blah blah blah.

Things have gone downhill since my Mom left. Yesterday, because the weather was bad, my FIL came over to watch Ben and Maggie so we didn't have to drag them to the sitter. I was able to leave right after school, and was home by about 3:45. Usually, when I have to pick them up at the sitter, I nurse Ben before I leave. By the time we finish that, pack up, get in car seats and get home and unloaded it is after 5. I miss Ellen. I miss an hour of playtime, they usually get straight to dinner and then bath (every other night) and then bed.

Laundry isn't getting done, dishes aren't getting done, clothes aren't being put away. We want to sell our house. We met a couple weeks ago with Andy's Uncle to talk about what we need to do to sell the place. Straightening and organizing is our big issue. Well who the hell has time for projects like that? It's going to take us forever to get anything like that done.

I miss my Mom. I miss my husband. I miss my babies. I feel like I am missing so much, and I don't like me as this kind of Mom.

It's late, I'm tired, I can't even think of anything else. My babies are 1o months old today. I missed pictures because of conferences. Andy did them, but they just aren't quite the same. I'll post them, you'll see.

Project 365. I think I'm supposed to be on Week 6? Eh, whatever.

February 3 - Back in the bath. Since we do this every other night, it has become a big part of our day. It is usually the most adorable they are all evening, they have fun. Maggie kicks her legs to splash, Ben is typically trying to climb out of the tub. I can make shampoo horns on Maggie's head now she has so much hair!

February 4 - My Grandma and Aunt Joannie came over to watch the twins since our babysitter had a funeral to go to. We went to dinner and it was nice. Ba Ba enjoyed her time with them a lot, and they sure love her.

February 5 - Yup, that's peas in his eyebrows, up his nose, all over his face. Probably in his hair too, even if you can't see it. Tonight, they were eating puree's off their trays with their fingers. Good times. February 6 - Ben and Lily are begging for potato chips!

February 7 - My SIL Patti asked me to take some maternity photos for her. I had a lot of fun playing photographer, and I think she looks absolutely beautiful! It makes me miss my pregnant belly. Here are a few of my favorites.

February 8 - Forgot to take a "normal" photo until babies were already sleeping. So I decided to get brave. Feeling inspired by the maternity photos, I present you with my belly, almost 10 months postpartum. This is why I am nervous about a beach vacation. This is why mother's of twins get tummy tucks. This is why I am so self concious about my body. You may want to avert your eyes. February 9 - We have had a LOT of snow lately (I love it) and our yard is piled like 6 feet high. Notice Lily in one of her noble dog poses, surveying her yard. And with that, I'm off to take a nap before Andy gets home from work. I need a hug tonight, and he'll be home soon enough. Goodnight blogging world.