Boobs

Enough whining about life :-)
Onto whining about infertility!

Right now, since this is a break month, all I'm doing is playing the waiting game. I'm currently waiting for my next cycle to start. I am on CD18, I think about 3 dpo. I actually used OPKs this month and got a positive (TWO LINES!) last Thursday. We gave it a try. I'm not expecting any miracles. All I really want is for my LP to give me one of those nice short months (like 9 - let's go for a 9 day LP) so I can get on with this IVF cycle. Yes, I am hoping that my period starts asap. Without the Progesterone supplements, and without hormones making me ovulate on CD12, I might have a good shot at a crappy LP. But, in the meantime, while I'm waiting. . .

I'm obsessed with my boobs. Two weeks out of every month since I first heard that breast tenderness is the first sign of pregnancy, I'm obsessed. I stare at them in the mirror - are they getting bigger, are blue veins looking more prominent, are they even, why are they pointing in different directions? I poke them. I bump them constantly with my arm, to make it subtle. Because really, who wants to be the freak who is out touching her boobs in public? Most of the time, all this does is show me that they are tender, or that I'm an idiot for wondering. I'm pretty sure its a sign of the hormones, or the fact that I'm poking at them that makes them tender, nothing pregnancy related. Last month they hurt a lot. Like not wearing a bra hurt, and one night when DH bumped one of them, I almost decked him. Apparently, it meant nothing.

DH thinks this whole process is fascinating. Being a good husband, he likes to help weigh in on the obsession, especially the "are the bigger" question. Carefully studying, weighing, grabbing. . .you get the point. Helpful guy, my hubby. He catches me poking them. He thinks it's funny. He wants to poke them too.

So, here I am, on a very low odds cyle (I think we've progressed downward to 2% on our own) and I'm still poking away and looking for signs of tenderness. Who knew I would ever be this obsessed with my boobs?

When my next cycle starts, I'll start BCPs for two weeks. During that two weeks, we have to have bloodwork for infectuous disease, and I get a Sonohysterogram, which I have heard horror stories about the pain factor for. We also are supposed to have a repeat SA for DH. Except, and I found this extremely funny, apparently DH's sperm are so crappy they don't need to do a repeat. We already are super candidates for ICSI, so they don't bother with another SA. I ask you, where is the fairness in the world of fertility? I get crappy results, I get more testing. He gets crappy results and gets out of it. I won't even get into the my role (shots, surgery, hormone treatments, more shots, OHSS) vs. his role (make sure it goes in the cup) but maybe I'll save that for another day.