Another Birthday Eve

Exactly one year ago, we found out that our babies were going to be born the next day. I sat in probably about the same spot on this couch and wrote out this post.

I was full of apprehension, nervous worry, hope, wonder, and love. I feel almost the same way about their big birthday party tomorrow, come to think of it. Remembering the feeling of doing that, and rereading that post, it made me think that while tomorrow is a big day, tonight is a big night. Birthday Eve. The day before, the time before, the last night of what the old normal was. Until tonight, I have had babies measured in months, ones who had never before been around on this date. No other September 2, January 1, April 8. Tonight is the last night I can't say they are year old. Turning into Toddlers, less like infants. I finished reading What to Expect the First Year, and The First Year of Life. Certainly a chapter has passed, certainly we've hit a milestone. If nothing else we survived the first year, and they survived the first year. They say if you can do that with twins, you'll survive the rest.

What a year it has been. So many good things, so many hard. So much to put into words, but tonight I only want to do one thing, and write the rest of this blog to my daughter and my son. Someday, I want them to look back, and I'm going to try to put it into words.

Dear Maggie and Ben,

Happy Birthday! I can hardly believe that you were born a year ago. It seems like just yesterday, and it seems like a very long time ago. So much happened in this first year. You have been very busy babies. You learned to smile, you learned to laugh, you learned to crawl. Sitting up was a challenge that Maggie figured out first. Crawling and rolling belonged to Ben. We try not to compare you to each other, but since you are growing up together, it happens. You are so alike, but so different. I say this all the time, but you are just the best babies. You don't cry much, you are sweet and cuddly and you make us laugh all the time. You play together now, you share, you fight, you have started hitting each other when you are upset. We figure it is normal, and either way, for many years to come, you are going to be each other's best friend, even if the course isn't always the smoothest.

Mommy and Daddy waited a long time for you. You were loved before you were even conceived, wanted for a long time. We were so excited to find out we were going to have you, shocked and amazed when we found out there would be two of you. It took a little while for Daddy to get adjusted, but I know he is now the proudest Daddy of twins ever. It's so hard to imagine you without each other. I don't know what we would have done with just one baby, certainly we would have been bored. You make our life so complete, so much better, and so much more, just MORE than we imagined. Leaving the house is always hard, but we take you all over the place. You go to the zoo, you go out to eat, you go shopping. We don't like leaving you home for anything.

Miss Margaret. You have your Daddy wrapped around your little finger. A few days ago we managed to get your hair in pigtails, and I think your Daddy fell even harder for your charming little smile. I love that you love books. You have figured out how to turn the pages, and you will sit and read for a long time, even when the book is upside down. You love to sit on my lap and have me read to you, and I think you are even saying a word for book. You are our talker. You have a few words that we know you say and know, hi and bye are your current favorites. You say it all the time, to people coming in, or when we are leaving. You say Mama, Daddy, monkey (kee), kitty (also kee), Lily, more, baby, and other words we think we hear all the time that you mimic. Such a smart little girl.

You snore. Just a little. You roll up onto your side, or you sleep with that little butt up in the air always snuggled up with your monkey. His nose and his mouth are starting to fall off because you love him so much. You are still Mommy's little peanut. We already know that you are going to be very independent, maybe a little stubborn. You want things on your schedule. You will sit and play by yourself for a long time. You are so curious about things, you study them, you pick them up, you sort them. You are more serious, and take longer to warm up to people. It has always been harder to make you smile. You are very sensitive. You will cry and wail when Ben does something to you, like take your monkey or pet your head. If he happens to take your toy or knock you over, it is like the end of the world is here. We hope you toughen up, just a little, because I'm afraid my darling that it's not going to stop anytime soon. He loves you though, and you like to pet him and feed him your food too.

Ben. Mama's sweet boy. You have started giving me (and the dog) kisses, and it just melts my heart. You are my snuggler, and would love to snuggle next to Mommy every night at bedtime. When you are falling asleep, you make the cutest little face at me, and smile up at me, and snuggle into my side. You are still nursing, and Mama never thought it would be so hard to give that up. We'll get to weaning. In the past couple of weeks, you have turned into quite a Mama's boy. You cry when I walk away from you, when I go to the kitchen, and if someone else is holding you and you see or hear me, it is all you can do but cry and reach for me. It's kind of flattering, and I don't mind a bit. I know the day will come when you want nothing to do with me.

You are adventurous. You were the first to start crawling, to climb the stairs, to take your first steps both hanging on to the couch and on your own. You will size up the distance and lunge from place to place. You love to jump. We should have known that was coming with the amount of time you would happily jump in the jumperoo. Soon I know you will be jumping across the room. You hit your head on everything, and I haven't seen you without a bruise on your forehead for weeks. You don't seem to mind, usually, and you will go back to what you are doing. Unless of course, it's time to snuggle. You are a very good eater. You seem to like almost everything we have given you, especially fruits and raisins. You hardly ever leave any food on your tray, and you devour your graham crackers, usually smearing some in your hair before you are done.

There is more, so much more that I would love to say to you. You have been my joy this year, and I look at you sometimes and can hardly believe you are mine. You are just so cute, and so sweet, and such good babies, and I wonder how it is that we were so lucky and so blessed to get both of you. Before you were born, I would sing to you, especially in the shower. Ever since then, I have one special song that I sing you that I think you recognize. It's called "My Wish" and it's from a band called Rascal Flatts. What gets me most in that song, is that it seems like it is written just for a child. I hope that life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never need to carry more than you can hold.

These are my wishes for you too. I wish for you a wonderful life, a life of joy, of wonder, of laughter. If you grow up to be kind, to be readers, to be full of smiles and laughter, I will know that I did my job as your mother. I don't always feel like I'm good enough, but I think you are doing okay anyway. You are certainly loved more than you can ever know.

Happy birthday my angels. Mommy and Daddy love you, and can't wait to see what this next year will bring.

Love,
Mommy

April 2 - Good Friday. Ben and Maggie were born on Good Friday, so I think that means they were a Biblical year old on this day? Something like that. Maggie is wearing a green shirt to dye Easter eggs in this picture. The green shirt tradition started when I was little. We always went to my Grandma and Grandpa Kures' house for Good Friday for dinner and egg dying. I don't know exactly when, but I started wearing Grandpa's shirt to dye Easter eggs. I have worn it every year since, even as an adult, until this year. Last year, when the babies were born on Good Friday, I had my Grandma bring this shirt to the hospital for good luck. This year, Ben and Maggie took turns wearing it to dye the eggs. Maggie is sitting on my Grandma's lap (the babies call her Baba) in this picture, and it really made me feel good to pass along this tradition.
April 3 - The Saturday before Easter. We were trying to get organized for everyone coming over for brunch the next day. I was in the kitchen, babies were crawling around, and I heard a big crash and then babies crying. It turns out they pulled over a pot full of topsoil that was in a plant stand. I came running around the corner to find them sitting in a pile of broken clay and topsoil. No one got hit by a pot, but it took us like an hour to calm down Maggie and clean up the mess. There is still a brown spot on the carpet, so now we need to replace the carpet before we can list our condo. Big sigh.
April 4 - Easter. We took Ben and Maggie to church with Andy's family. We just made it in time, and we had some awfully cute babies. I had splurged at Gymboree, and have no regrets. They are going to wear their outfits again for pictures next weekend. Plus, I earned Gymbucks :-)

This was in Maggie's Easter basket from us. It is a book that sings nursery rhymes when you turn the page. She giggled, and danced (this sort of rocking motion) and absolutely loved it. Good find Mama.

A picture of us with Andy's brother Matt, Patti and baby Ryan. I am so glad that we are going to be raising kids at the same time, it is so much fun! Ryan is a month old now, and just starting to be awake a little bit more, and smiling. So cute!
April 5 - Easter aftermath. My SIL and I were trying to finish the photocubes for the birthday party, and babies were unhappy. Well, Ben was unhappy, Maggie was unpacking the grass from her Easter basket and throwing it around. Who can get upset when you have a face like this?
April 6 - It was a beautiful day, so we decided to go to the zoo with some friends. Ben and Maggie met up with their friend Augusta who is a day older than them, and cousin Ryan. We had a lot of fun, and it was so neat to see them actually noticing animals and enjoying the nice weather!
April 7 - My Mom and I went out on a fruitless hunt for baby shoes which was completely frustrating, but we went to Chik-Fil-A for dinner. It has quickly become our favorite fast food place because it is a) family friendly b) quick c) fairly healthy, and d) we recently discovered they give out balloons there. I couldn't quite capture the pure joy on Maggie's face while she was playing with her balloons, but I did my best. It was so cute, and so much fun to see her playing with them.
April 8 - According to my books, babies are supposed to be able to start using spoons at a year. Well, we tried the spoons with yogurt. Maybe not my best idea. Ben ended up dumping most of it on his tray, dumping the rest on his head, and then trying to lick out the bowl. Maybe we'll try again with something less messy.
April 9 - Birthday Eve. We got the babies in bed and read them Dr. Seuss's "Happy Birthday to You". It was a long book, they were rowdy, but Andy and the dog seemed to enjoy it. I think it will be a nicer tradition in a couple of years. I'll post pictures from the big birthday party soon!