The House that Built Me

This post has gone through several title changes, but this is the one that I decided to stick with and my original thoughts. Somewhere in there should be a Happy Mother's Day, Thank God for Zoloft and The End of the World as We Know It (and I don't feel fine). Yesterday my principal sat down with me and told me in the nicest way possible that I don't have a place there next year. She couldn't give me full-time, she couldn't give me another one-year contract because I deserved more, and she wishes I could find a home somewhere else if not in Twinsburg. I cried. I think she teared up. And I left a school that has been my home for the past 5 years.


I had been thinking of this concept of connections to places lately. There is a song that Miranda Lambert sings called "The House that Built Me." This part is my favorite:


You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can

I got lost in this big old world and forgot who I am.



I thought if I could touch this place or feel it,

This brokenness inside me might start healing.

Out here it's like I'm someone else,

I thought that maybe I could find myself.

If I could just come in, I swear I'll leave.

Won't take nothing but a memory,

From the house that built me.




It is a beautiful song, and it got me thinking. There are certain places in time, things that happened, places I've lived that have truly made me who I am. I lived my entire life until I went to college in the same house that my parents still live in. We never moved, never thought about moving. My parents built that house, designed it, and it still feels like home. It will be so weird someday when they don't live there.


We are in the process of getting our house ready to sell. This house has been my home for 7 years. I met my husband living here. We had our first awkward kiss in this foyer. We found out we were pregnant in the downstairs bathroom, we cried in the living room that night. Our babies came home to this place, and this is the only home they have known. As much as we are ready to move on, I can't even picture us all somewhere else. I can't imagine moving, leaving this place where we began. It's just too strange to picture.


A couple weeks ago, we went to my 10 year college reunion. If anywhere is a place where I feel like I truly became who I am today, it is there. More specifically, I think back to my friends, my house, and that seems like the house that built me. I became the person I am today because of those friendships, because of that community I belonged to in college. It was so nice to be back, and so weird at the same time. We stayed in the dorm. Me, my husband and my two babies stayed in a dorm and walked to the bar. (Me and Andy, not the babies. They stayed in the dorm with a babysitter) It made me so grateful for the time I spent there, so blessed that I had the experiences I did. It also made me a little sad because I didn't keep in touch the way I should have. I miss having that large group of friends to hang out with. 16 people from my pledge class came, and it was almost like old times (except for the fact that we had a bunch of kids between us, and several people were pregnant).

It is late and I need to finish this up. Tomorrow is going to come early, and it's going to be a busy weekend. Here are my photo updates, I'll try to get another post in soon so it's not so backed up next time!

May 7 - We have been gradually adding perennials to our flowerbeds so we didn't need to worry about much planting this year. I love how the front of our house looks in the spring!
May 8 - Hi Grandma!
May 9 - Happy Mother's Day! Here I am with my cuties. I love these two babies more than anything in the world, and I can't imagine my life without them.
Four fabulous generations of women. Don't mind the squintiness it was really sunny!
A few of my favorite Moms.

May 10 - Ben is so snuggly with Lily, and she couldn't be a better baby dog. She lets them climb all over her, give her kisses, throw things at her, and covers them with kisses. May 11 - Oops, missed a day of my project. Grr.

May 12 - Busy, busy babies. They are always into something these days, and on the move. They are so much fun, and I love this age!
May 13 - Lila-pup in her favorite spot on the couch.
May 14 - The cats also get love from the Ben, but they are not quite as into it as the dog.
May 15 - My fabulous sisters. How things change and how things stay the same. What a fun weekend!
May 16 - We went to the Columbus Zoo and it was awesome! For some reason, this was my favorite picture of the day.
May 17 - Pulling down stacks of books is a favorite activity.
May 18 - Climbing up the stairs makes everything so much easier. When they try to come back down? Not as cool.
May 19 - Ben is playing with one of my childhood toys, this little turtle. Watching him drag it around and knowing that I used to do the same thing? Love it.
May 20 - We have been playing in the driveway a lot lately. They love pushing around the truck and the trike, but they haven't figured out how to make them move when they are on them. Notice the sad look on his face.

May 21 - A combo of jammie pants and the dress she wore that day - just like Mama's uniform!

May 22 - We went for our first ice cream cones - they loved them! Maggie even figured out how to finish off her cone.

May 23 - Ben and Maggie got a water/sand table for their birthday from Aunt Sarah and Uncle Brandon. We had dinner on it with the cover on and then played and splashed for a long time. Maggie, in particular, LOVED it! I imagine lots of fun with this this summer.

May 24 - We pimped out the wagon by buying an awning for it. Fair skinned babies do not need sunburn.

May 25 - A girl on my MoM's board lost her son JW to lung failure. He was a preemie, a fighter, and touched many lives. On the day of his memorial service, everyone from the board who could wore blue and went outside to blow bubbles to Heaven for JW. Andy took them out for me since I was at work, and while he got a few good pictures, I love this one. My heart goes out to his family, and wish that no one ever had to lose a child.

May 26 - My SIL came over with Ryan and we dug out the activity mat. He loved it, Ben and Maggie thought it was great fun. At some point I remember realizing that there are people in the world who have 3 babies that are this close together. I can't imagine.

May 27 - My last day of school. Possibly my last day at my school. The idea makes me so sad, so scared, and I'm not sure what happens next. The stool was a present from the class and I hope I have a classroom to put it in again! Hopefully my next post will have some good news in it. God knows we could use it!

Bobby and Gee

This is the post title I've had in my head for a week now. Who are Bobby and Gee you might ask? We have no idea who/what they are, but Maggie talks about them all the time.


The communication gap never seemed like an issue. I could usually guess what they needed, or it would be obvious. Now that they are starting to have thoughts/feelings/opinions? Much more of an issue to understand what they mean. I always thought the idea of not knowing how to communicate with your kids was weird, but not going to be an issue. Until Gee happened.

Most of the time, Maggie says what she wants. She asks for Kee. She calls for Mama when she is tired, or sick, or sees me coming home. She says Hi and Bye-Bye when people come and go and when I am on the phone. She says puppy when the dog is around. Baby when she is talking to herself. Maggie. Something that sounds like Lily. Kitty. But then a couple weeks ago, something like this started happening pretty regularly in her highchair.

Maggie says "gee". I say, oh do you want your Kee? No response. Milk? No response. Yogurt? You get the picture. Then I repeat you want gee? And she laughs this "ah ha ha ha ha" laugh like something is hysterical. Same thing with Bobby. It sounds something like Bobby, Hoppy or Boppy, but it doesn't mean anything I can think of. The only thing that is close is like she is talking about Ben. But Ben or Bug as we call him half the time sounds nothing like Boppy. Or Bobby. And while happy seems kinda likely, what are the chances? We don't go around saying it all the time or anything.

Speaking of Ben, he is also starting to say hi, bye-bye (although usually in a high-pitched voice or a chorus of bye-bye-bye-bye) and for sure knows his Mama and Dada's. But most of the time what he says over and over is Ba. Ba-ba-ba. I've started to burst into choruses of Barbara Ann that he thinks is hysterical and will mimic a little.

Other than the communication advances and confusions, the biggest news around here involves walking. Ben is really starting to get it more, and while he still toddles very slowly and cautiously most of the time, he is steadier and steadier. He goes halfway across the room, claps for himself and grins like a fool and then drops to his knees and takes off.

In other news, 14 days of school left, and two of them I will spend on an overnight field trip with the 5th grade. Oh boy, fun times. I cannot wait for summer, and I am so ready to spend some more time with my babies.

Project 365 time:

April 18 - This is the one I missed last time. I came downstairs this morning to find Andy and Ben asleep on the floor. Ben had been cranky and Andy took him downstairs to try to get him to sleep. He said he was cuddling with him and they both fell asleep, but I have no idea how Ben ended up facing the opposite way. Love the snack cup by his feet too, silly boys.

April 23 - I managed to get Maggies hair in a single ponytail. We refer to them as onions around here. She is also wearing Ben's black turtleneck from his Halloween costume. Doesn't she look very adorably artistic and angry?
April 24 - Andy with his nephew. We had gone to brew beer on this day and while Ben and Maggie stayed with my parents, Ryan came to his first brew session. He slept through most of it, but this picture of him with Andy I thought was adorable.
April 25 - We had gone to my parents to pick up the babies on the 24th, and I left my camera there. I told my Mom her job had to be to take a picture for my project. She took four. One of the backyard, one of the dog, one of a basket of laundry and this one of their dinner. This is one of my favorite meals every, pork and dumplings with sweet and sour cabbage, one of our family favorites. We weren't invited that night for dinner, but I had leftovers the next day.
April 26 - One of the last rides in the swing. She looked so big, and so sweet and so, just, peaceful this day to be swinging in her swing. It made me think of just how far we have come, just how big they are getting. This thing was such a Godsend when they were babies, Maggie slept through the night for the first time in that swing. I realize not many one year olds still fit under the weight guidelines of their swings, but my peanut does. She looks so grown up. That's my baby girl in there.
April 27 - Maggie talked me into these little bathtub stacking cups at BRU. She loves them. Filling them, emptying them, dumping them out. Ben likes to fill them with water and throw them out of the tub. Very helpful. We've been getting very wet lately in the bathroom.
April 28 - An old friend of mine came over with her baby for a playdate and dinner. He is 11 weeks old and he weighs more than Maggie! Such a cutie, and she must make magical milk.
April 29 - The dog and I fell asleep on the couch, and my Mom thought it was hysterical. But, what a cute photo of us, and so reminiscent of the old days :-)
April 30 - We love wagon rides! Andy's parents got Ben and Maggie this wagon for Christmas and they love it. We have started taking them for walks around the driveway and the neighborhood. The dog thinks it rocks too.
May 1 - Proof that the cats really do get along. Enjoying the open window - the days are getting so nice around here!
May 2 - Mommy is getting better at pigtails :-)
Something about this one was just adorable to me. Walking with Daddy with that little pink shoe untied.
May 3 - Our new dining room floors look awesome. DH did such a good job. We even have new potted plants. Slowly but surely this place is getting ready to sell! And of course, looking nicer and nicer. Why didn't we make these changes sooner?
May 4 - Another trip to the park! I think it's so crazy to see myself in photos these days. I really, genuinely, look happier than I did before. I guess I didn't realize how depressed I must have looked to other people until I started seeing myself in these recent photos. I look like a different person, and I am so glad I made the change. I want to be happy, I want to feel the kind of joy I used to. I think I'm getting there.
May 5 - Working on being more eco-friendly, small steps. I ordered these adorable sandwich bags from Etsy. They are so cute and make me feel good about packing my lunch! Then I look at the individual applesauces, the 100 calorie bags and realize I have a long way to go.
May 6 - Just babies here begging for ice cream. Yum! They were gathered around me and the dog looked so jealous. They love ice cream, and I can't wait to give them their own cones this summer. Have I mentioned I am excited about summer? It is coming so soon! The only hard part is that once again, we have reached the time of year where I don't know if I have a job next year. My prncipal doesn't seem to hopeful, and there are so many districts making cuts. As much as I want to stay home, I don't want it to be like this :-(

A Plethora of Photos

This post is total picture overload. Our one year photos from Portrait Innovations, the big birthday bash, adorable photos we took for their birthday, and of course the two week's worth of Project 365 I needed to post!

Life is just moving along here. Ben is taking real steps now, walking for longer distances and more steady. It is so sweet though, he is so cautious, and side steps half of the time. Maggie I think is getting really close to taking her first steps too, I can't believe they are that big. We made the switch to whole milk right after their first birthday. They love it, and we are so glad to not be paying for formula anymore! Earlier this week, Ben stopped nursing. We had weaned so slowly that I haven't had any discomfort. I'm sad, but I'm so proud of us for making it a year. I miss that time, but he is still my snuggly little boy, and I can spend more time with Maggie at bedtime now.

Andy is finishing our new dining room floor tonight, and then tomorrow he moves on to replacing the kitchen faucet because it sprung a leak last week. I swear, we are never going to be ready to list this place! I want to move. I want a permanent position at my building where I have taught for 5 years. I want to have my husband home for dinner and bedtime every night. I want summer to be here already so I can stay home with my babies. Doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?

For Ben and Maggie's first birthday, we wanted to get family photos done. We went to Portrait Innovations and they did an awesome job. These are the uncut photos, I didn't have time to crop them before I posted, but you get the general idea. I forgot when I started uploading pictures that these would be first, so they are out of order, but oh well.

The group photo. This is my parents and grandma, Andy's parents, his sister and her husband, and brother, his wife and baby Ryan. We had matched everyone's outfits to Ben and Maggie's Easter outfits, and I'm so happy with how it all came together!One of my favorite pictures of Ben ever. Doesn't she look like a stinker?April 10 - Happy Birthday Maggie and Ben! We were so lucky to have beautiful weather for their party. The party went so well, the location was perfect, friends and family came, babies behaved, and it was great. I went a little crazy with party photos, enjoy!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. . .



We arrived at our party in style. My aunt made their birthday cake, and she did an AWESOME job! It was even better than I had pictured in my head. We went with a circles theme for the whole party. Simple, easy, colorful, and no silly character themes. Mommy forgot our party hats, birthday ribbons AND the fancy mylar balloons we had put in the back until the high chairs got there. About halfway through cake I remembered the hats, the rest of it, not until the end of the party. Sigh. Them sitting on our laps for present opening lasted through about 3 gifts, then Andy and I just opened everything without them. Maggie loves balloons!April 11 - We cheated again and did 12 month photos the next day since we didn't have time after the party. I can't believe we used our last stickers. What cuties. It is so hard now to get them to sit still and stay on the chair, thank goodness we were both home to do this. Now I'm trying to figure out if I still want to do monthly photos, or just every 6 months like this? I mean, it's not like I don't take photos every day, lol.
We also did some pictures out in the yard that I adore. April 12 - First night of whole milk and they chugged it. This made me so happy! We had our doctor appointment this day. Ben weighed in at 19 lbs, 13 oz, Maggie an even 16. Peanut still isn't on the charts, Bug's head has jumped up to 90th percentile. Go babies! April 13 - Ben has been getting up at night again, staying up with Andy for about an hour, then going back to sleep. Andy thought it was hysterical that he fell asleep in the highchair. April 14 - I had this bright idea to take them to the park, and they loved it! Swings are our new favorite things. April 15 - This was technically like 12:08, I was tired, not in the mood to come up with something, so I snapped a picture of Andy in bed with the laptop. I realize this isn't high quality or creative, but it's a picture and that's all I promised. April 16 - Ben is keeping Maggie up at night too. This morning, they both got up before I left for school, wouldn't go back to sleep, and both fell asleep in their highchairs. Poor Daddy was having a tough week. April 17 - All the Portrait Innovation Photos are from this day

April 18 - Missing somehow? I'll try to add it next time, or something!

April 19 - Having bottles of milk at bedtime and no nursing tonight. Such big babies. Ben nursed the next night, but then quit on me for good. 1 year, 10 days, not bad at all. April 20 - It's been awhile since we had nudey bathtub shots, and I even got them both smiling! Baths are interesting now, both of them standing, trying to climb out, and last week, crying every bath night. Good times. April 21 - Ben got these pajamas for his birthday and he looks so stinking cute in them. Such a mini-us in his pajama pants and t-shirt. April 22 - Maggie and the new slide! Please forgive that she looks like a street urchin, we had choo choo wheels for dinner and they were a mess. I hate photos of them in disposible diapers, but it happens sometimes! This is the climber that Andy's parents gave them for their birthday that now takes up a corner of our living room. Again, can I say, we need to move! This post took a couple days, AND had a ton of photos, so thanks as always for reading and looking! I need to get back to blogging more often, it is so hard to keep up with the photos! I am also going back and forth about making this blog private. If I decide to do that, I will announce it to make sure all my readers are on the list.