Six years. A blink? Not quite. The days, oh they were long. Sleepless nights, spit up, diapers, bottles, carrying around those infant car seats. But then there are times I honestly think I can't remember. That the way they looked, the way they smelled, the little smiles, the sleepy noises, they are hard to grasp in this stupid memory of mine. I took a million pictures, not enough videos, and if you could have bottled up the sweet baby smell to pull out years later, I would recommend that to any new parent.
There is still some baby in them. Maggie still needs Kee every night to go to bed. He stays home when she goes to school, and some days he doesn't leave her bed. But every night, back under her chin with his tail being stroked between her fingers is where he rests.
Ben still twirls his hair when he drinks milk. Right at the top of his head. He knows it too, it's a conscious habit. Since the days of him nursing, hair has been his thing. Still a little bit of my baby in that gangly little boy that is folding long legs up to curl up on his mommy's lap.
Six years. Six years ago, a different house, different careers, different family dynamics. I don't think on that day getting ready Thursday night, to go to the hospital Friday morning, could I have ever imagined our life today. It was a Thursday, just like now, and the Indians home opener was the next day.
I looked like this.
Selfies were not quite a thing yet, but on Friday morning, we did this. We were way ahead of our time, apparently.
Nervous, scared, excited. I had no idea how awesome and how crappy that week would be. That we would be in special care, that nursing and pumping would be a full time job, that Maggie would be smaller than a bag of flour. I for sure had no idea that approximately 26 months later, we would be back welcoming another baby.
Or that the year they were born, April 10th was Good Friday. That I had my Grandma and Mom bring this shirt to the hospital because that is the shirt that you wear on good Friday.
And that 5 years and about 360 days later, Maggie would still wear it every year.
That Ben, this handsome sleepy boy would need approximately 37 lovies in his bed at night to fall asleep.
I don't even know if I can describe what it is like to have these two almost 6 year olds in my life. They are in Kindergarten. So big. They love to ride the bus, both started reading and writing like crazy sometime after Christmas. That having six year olds means that you can do things like ask them to help carry in the groceries, or clean up a room, and have reasonable expectations that they can do that. To be checking for loose teeth, applying band aids and letting them pour their own milk sometimes. To still snuggling on the couch after school, to knowing they are making good choices, and to realize that they are getting taller with bigger feet every day.
To have notes like this being slipped under the door like tiny guilt trips.
But that 2 months later, she would be writing in her journal, stories that look like this.
Ben and Maggie both love school. They love their teachers, they love their classmates, they love learning. They love books, they are proud of their writing, and they are kind and caring. We are doing something right.
They can be ornery. They sneak snacks, make poor choices, and fight and bicker with each other and Mia on an almost daily basis. And as much as I always have tried to remember and encourage them to be their own people, they are without a doubt a we.
Maybe after this weekend, I can write a post for each of them. To give a snapshot of these two fabulous kids that lived in my belly, but now in my heart and in my house. But I'm tired and a little weepy inside tonight. 6 seems old. I know that there are good seasons yet to come. But these years, these weeks and days, they will never come back. I wish sometimes I could go back. To hold those little baby bodies close again, to rock with them, and listen to the coos and see the toothless smiles.
It's true, what the old ladies always say, it goes by so fast.
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