This is Three

We were putting the kids to bed tonight, and it occurred to me that tomorrow is their birthday.  Not that I didn't remember at all, but I didn't really think about it much past being the preschool helper, having a birthday treat, having to work a good chunk of the day and organizing babysitters for the day.  But in the way that a Mom who used to love pinterest, and who feels like Birthday Eve should be something special had a realization that we dropped the ball this year.  Saturday is their birthday party, and I just really started working on that this week.  But tomorrow is their actually birthday.  They will be four.  FOUR.  And then it occurred to me that every year on their birthday this is where I write something to them, for them and about them.  So instead of cleaning my house for this party we are having Saturday, I am sitting down here to make this post.  Birthday Eve.  Here we go.  

Dear Ben and Maggie,

I assume by the time you are reading this you will be older, and want to know what you were like when you were little.  Just to sum it up in my own way for tonight, here is a little you might not remember.

Three has been. . .fun.  The tantrums are worse, the logic is better, the curiosity, the imagination, the leaps and bounds of learning. . .that is three.  Three is silly, three is crazy, three is independent and sensitive and proud.  Three is loving your parents like nothing else, loving your baby sister without embarrassment and making friends with everyone you meet.  Loving the dog, following the cats, dressing up in hats and clothes, and having no self consciousness about what you wear.  Giving kisses, holding hands, and not being embarrassed by your mom or dad.

Three is believing in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and being scared of the dark and of ghosts.  Three is loving Disney, watching movies, and constantly asking for candy.  It is riding your tricycle on their own, blowing bubbles by yourself, and being completely out of pull ups, but with a lot of sheet washing.  Three is giggles, and sleepovers, and making little things special.  It is snuggling up with Mommy on the couch when you are sick, or even just because you love her.  Three is asking questions all.the.time.  It is questioning parenting decisions, whining about the results, and reasoning with the unreasonable.

Three is hide and seek where you yell out "I'm hiding in the basement" and where you count to 10, but the numbers after that are just kinda mixed up.  It's where you love books, can look at them for a long time, and where your Mommy thinks that if she just had more time, you would probably know how to read.  It is being smart, but not knowing that you are smart.  It is watching out for your baby sister, and holding her hand, and washing her hair in the bathtub, and knowing to ask Mommy if it is okay if she eats something.  It is letting her scream at you when you take something away that she can't have, but where you hold strong knowing that she is "llergic".  It is wanting one more TV show, one more glass of milk before bed, one more story, one more jelly bean, one more kiss.

Three is still falling asleep in the car if you are tired.  Three is sometimes a daily battle about sleep and naps.  Three is falling asleep with your lovely cuddled in your arms, and if you are Ben, a hand twirling your hair.  It is playing with your imagination, and pretending out loud.  It is living with your best friend and your worst enemy, but at the end of the day, still being up in each other's space without much complaining.  It is tears, and tantrums, and every bad parenting phrase I have ever uttered being yelled back at me.  It is helping with chores, and putting away clothes, and making decisions.  It is coloring pictures that look more and more like people and things every day.

Three is loud, it is sweet, it is soft and loving.  My three year olds, my sweet babies, who tomorrow will be 4, you have changed so much this year, but not at all.  You have grown socially, emotionally and just a little bit taller during this first year of Preschool.  You are still the sweetest kids, the best of friends, and still, Mommy's favorite double trouble.  I don't know what I would do without you, or what you would do without each other, or without your baby Mia.  We are a solid little family unit, full of love, laughter, and chaos.  

I am a lucky Mom.

Love,
Mommy