I am tired. I have been having a couple of days where I have just felt off. I'm frustrated about this house. There is so much to do, and I have no idea where to start. There are boxes everywhere. I started pulling wallpaper off when I can, and so now we have less ugly wallpaper and more walls that are patched and need to be cleaned. And then painted. And then we need to pick out the paint.
We need organization systems. I have pretty much given up on trying to clean up the toys, there is no where to put them. We have cardboard boxes as toyboxes. There are no books on the shelves in the kids rooms. I should be making a cake right now, or cleaning something, or unpacking a box. I can't make myself do it. And then I get mad at myself and frustrated, and it's not done, or started, and then we try again tomorrow.
I have also been slipping a whole lot with the kids. I'm letting them push me around. It probably started when we were moving, and I just stopped trying so hard to make them do things they didn't want to do. To eat things we wanted them to eat. So sure, you can have a cookie. And no, Mommy will just pick that up for you. Please don't do that. Please don't do that. Please don't. . .oh forget it, just go ahead. I'm worn down with the discipline. So sometimes I don't. Or I yell. Or I cry. It's exhausting.
Probably the worst part of my day has been getting them up and ready for preschool. My kids are not morning people. Never have been. So for awhile, they were getting up between 7 and 7:30 which was perfect for school. But now, on non-school mornings they don't get up until 8:30. Or 9:30. Whatever. So dragging them out of bed to get naked and ready for school. They are cold. They are sleepy. They don't want to go to school. Every.single.morning.
So at one point, I started making it a race. The first person done got a marshmallow. The problem with that was that the person who didn't get the marshmallow was in hysterics every morning. So now, if you get dressed and don't argue with Mommy, everyone gets one. But they try to bribe themselves for everything. Maggie will announce "I ate my bacon, so I can have a cookie", or Ben "We had a good nap, so we can have an M&M".
No. No. NO. I have become a briber. A pacifier. A giver inner.
I also can't seem to wean the baby. It's kinda ridiculous. The other night she was already in bed, I realized it had been a day and a half so I got her out of bed to nurse her. Even though I miss cheese. And she is old enough to be talking in full sentences. But I've read that it only takes 1-2 weeks for a baby to totally forget how to breastfeed. And that part makes me incredibly sad. That not only will we be done, but she won't even remember it.
Sigh.
I have wanted to do an update post, and this wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but it was on my mind tonight and I had to get it out.
Pictures to come soon. Real estate business is picking back up, and between that and the constant battle of good and evil in my house, I feel like I am barely holding it together. Maybe I need a marshmallow.
1 comment:
marshmallow, latte, pedicure - whatever you want, you deserve to get it :)
obviously you know about our morning battles - don't feel alone on that (except the fact that your kids rock and sleep in so late on other days, i think you ARE alone on that!). we are all frustrated by it to some degree, some just more than others i think.
the other day i told Gianna if she ate her whole dinner (which we know NEVER EVER happens) she could have pez(!) for a snack - she ate her whole damn dinner. and hten when she woke up in the morning she wanted pez.... the whole "treat" concept hasn't quite clicked yet!
and the house will get done. you will probably be frustrated until it is done, but i promise friend, it will get there. and once this baby comes out i am all for helping do whatever you want!
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