My daughter, the late night party animal

Or: Mommy is a sucker.

I know that this blog is dying a slow death. I keep forgetting to post things, or think of something to post and then not having time, and I wonder how in the hell other mommies manage to blog? Or post on the nest, or read books, or keep up with people on Facebook or any of those other things that I don't seem to have time for?

And then I think of a few things I am doing wrong. The first thing that comes to mind is stupid. I'm addicted to FarmTown on Facebook. If you haven't tried it - don't, it's like crack. It isn't too time consuming, but depending on how often you plant your crops, can be a daily thing that you just have to take care of or your crops will die. That becomes my main goof off on the internet thing to do and then I don't have time for everything else.

Thing number two - my house is too clean. And it's still a mess. I pictured us letting it go a lot more, but here we are keeping up with the laundry and running the dishwasher and straightening things. I have a constant chore list, and most of it is what gets done while the babies are either sleeping or being their cute and cuddliest. I'm glad the house is not falling apart, and I'm not going to lie, it would be without my husband or my mother cracking the whip.

Thing number three - I don't know if we're doing the right thing with this schedule thing. I am feeding twins on demand and letting them sleep when they want to. This is exactly what we didn't think we would do. "When one wakes up, wake the other one up" sounded like such sound advice when I was pregnant. And it worked for a couple of weeks. But then Ben started sleeping more at night. And am I really going to mess up his learning to sleep through the night? And if I'm still nursing them, or trying really hard, but I can't tandem nurse, it is much easier for them to eat at different times, right?

The past two nights have gone something like this (it's fuzzy). I fall asleep somewhere between 11 and 12, not on purpose. I wake up around 3 panicking because I shouldn't have slept that long with my overnight pumping schedule. I get my pump stuff together and pump. As soon as I'm done (or as soon as I've gotten ready for bed) Maggie wakes up and needs a bottle. Last night she woke up Ben so they both were up with me until about 5. One or both of them ends up sleeping with us. We get up whenever they get up again. Somewhere between 7 and 10.

We are in serious need of a schedule.

I guess I should get back to why Maggie is a late night party animal? Because she will nap off and on all day and wake up on full alert after her "bedtime" bottle. She likes to hang with us in the bedroom and watch TV. Because she's up until about 2 most nights, it's much harder to get up with her again at 3 or 4. Or with Ben when he wakes up cheerful and happy at 5 or 6. Because little darling that he is, he started sleeping through the night a couple of weeks ago. Completely oblivious to his sisters party all night, sleep all day schedule.

Which is why I'm blogging at 4:30 in the morning. Maggie is sleeping on my chest. For the moment, as soon as I try to put her back in the crib there will be screaming. And Ben is starting to stir in the nursery. Thank God for coffee.

The babies are happy and healthy. So far so good letting them do it how they want to. I sleep, sometimes. It's good enough.

And I keep the one promise I made to myself a long time ago. Even if I don't have time for anything else, I take a shower every day. And that's good enough for me.