50 days in Photos

Or so :-)That's how Maggie feels about this. Actually, that is the photo for July 14 that I apparently missed when I was uploading and now I can't move it where I want it to go. It seems like a good fit here.

I have gotten way behind on posting my Project 365 photos, but I'm still (most days) taking them. This summer has been crazy. It has gone fast, it has gone slow, and two of the worst things that have ever happened to me happened this summer. I had a whole post I started and never finished about the miscarriage, I just couldn't put down in words what I was feeling. Mainly it's strange, because it feels so unreal and so long ago. I am not in many of my own family photos because I am usually the one taking them. But the pictures of me, pre July 13, and post July 13? You can see the difference. Being pregnant again, carrying that miracle that we didn't think could happen made me glow. And made me fat. But the fact was, it was like I was carrying a little bit of hope inside me. A reason for going on, a reason to accept what had happened with my job, and a reason to feel good about my body. I was nurturing life again. I had a little person inside me and I was looking forward to the challenges ahead. Sure I was scared to death and not sure how we would managed and cried about the unfairness of the timing. We weren't sure how we would survive, but we would. We would have to.

And then I lost the baby. In June, I should have made a big push to try to find a full time teaching position, but I had decided not too. We have our house on the market, and we are looking at a bleak financial future. And my entire life doesn't make as much sense as it used to. I have been thinking a lot lately about wedding vows, and how we stood there, blissfully unaware of what may come and promised for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. We sure feel like we are seeing our fair share of worse and poorer, but the best part of it is that we are together. We'll survive. I have to believe that.

So I'm 50 days behind on photos (and I can't even believe that is true, but I think I counted right!) During this 50 day span of time, we went on two different trips and I was planning to do a seperate post on that but. . .well, life happens. Talk about an insane upload tonight of photos. I'll try to be brief with my photo captions, and bear with me and remember, this blog is about me, my memories, and I'm going to want to look back at this entry someday and remember something about the photos. In other words, deal with it if I get off track :-)

June 23-24. This picture was taken at like 12:15 at night, so I don't know where to count it, but one of those days I forgot to take a picture. This is our office, freshly spiffied up for house showings. There are a LOT of things in bins that I can't even imagine having to go through when we actually move.
June 25 - We left for Indianapolis to meet up with Andy's Aunt and Uncle Thursday night, and went to the zoo this Friday morning. I have plenty of animal pictures, but something about this one is my favorite shot of the day. Ben spent a lot of time out of the stroller and on Daddy's shoulders. They both loved the animals, it is so much better this year to go to see them. Of course everything is either a cat, a dog, or maybe a bird. Oh well. We left the zoo and headed down to Bean Blossom, Indiana to see Beth, Frank, Zachary and Gabe. It was so fun and so crazy to get together.

June 26 - The log cabin we stayed in, an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.

June 27 - An attempt at a group photo. Apparently it's hard to get toddlers AND adults to all look at the camera. There was a lot of clapping going on. June 28 - Must have been too tired for a photo.

June 29 - One of our beautiful daylilies. They make me smile.
June 30 - See the bruises? Little boy is always sporting at least one. Always on the head. Sigh.
July 1 - After bath naked run around time. One of the cutest things the babies have been doing lately is pointing to body parts. We sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and the head part is their favorite. Maggie looks like she's doing a commercial for a headache medicine in this one, but at least it's not too revealing.
July 2 - Is that an impish face or what?
July 3 - The neverending trip to the Outerbanks. We took a family trip this year with Andy's parents and his siblings, their spouses, and our nephew Ryan who was 4 months old. The trip was great, the drive there was not. We thought it would take us about 10-11 hours. We sat in this kind of traffic for about the last 4-6 hours, and got in about 16 hours later. Luckily Ben and Maggie were great little troopers and we had plenty of snacks in the car.
July 4 - We attempted to get some cute beach photos. They didn't like sand, they didn't like the ocean, they didn't want to stand together for photos. And Ben stole Maggie's hat. Little booger.
Throwing bonus 4th of July picture in here. They absolutely loved the fireworks. We taught Maggie to say "Wow" when they went off. It was so neat to see them see them for the first time.
July 5 - The Currituck Lighthouse
July 6 - I just love this picture of Ben. He thought it was a lot of fun to climb in and out of the cupboards in the kitchen at the rental house.
Just another day in Paradise.
Is this one slightly better?
July 7 - This is a little better. We were trying to recreate the beach chair babies idea from our trip last year. We couldn't get them to sit still, but I love the look on Maggie's face in this one!
July 8 - We went to the Roanoke Aquarium. They loved the fishies and the turtles, and Ben pointed at everything that he saw that he liked. What he didn't like was his sister touching him while he was clearly riding the turtle first.
July 9 - We took a jeep tour to the end of Corolla to see the wild horses. It was a lot of fun, and we saw plenty of horses on the trip. I loved this one, it was the first stop we made to see horses. There were two or three of them that came out first and then this one turned back and whinnied for another. A baby came out, and it was such an awesome sight.
July 10 - This is me. This is me stuck on a bridge in traffic in Virginia Beach. We sat there, stopped dead for at least an hour and a half. People got out of their cars, walked around, met the people around them, fun times.
July 11 - Home again, home again. I had been taking pictures of feet and thought it was fun that I got all of our feet in one picture. I had the dog's feet too, but she must have missed this picture.
July 12 - I find this really ironic and sad. I made this list, and this is the only picture I took on this day. My point of taking it was how you could tell a pregnant woman made the list. It was the last day before I found out about the baby.
July 13 - Andy took these, I spent most of the evening in our room. What a cute picture of my favorite brown eyed girl. July 14 - See top of post for a classic Maggie Stink Face

July 15 - Pool time! This looks like they are cooperating nicely, don't you think? It is totally always like that, I swear.
July 16 - The day I had my D&C. There is no photo for today, and I think it's fitting.

July 17 - Someone had recommended getting a good book to pass the time while you are in the hospital and this was my choice. The pain meds slowed my reading down a bit (and I'm still not clear on one of the twists) but it was a good book. I do love me some Nora!
July 18 - Doesn't every baby need a bubble wrap helmet? Parents of the year, right here.
July 19 - Starting to use utensils like real little people. Maggie will get really mad if you try to help her, or try to take the fork away. She kind of guards it like she's been in prision. Ben usually gives up and just uses his fingers, but we are getting there. Now the food throwing? Totally different story and I have no idea how to make it stop.
July 20 - This is how I found Andy when I came up to go to bed. It's like his own little fort. And that remote? I always have to root around for it if he goes to bed first, and I frequently find him cuddling it. I wish I was kidding.
July 21 - Books, books, books, we are crazy for the books. I love it. I love that they are interested, love that they take them so seriously. My favorite thing in the world right now is when they toddle over to you, present you with a book and then plop their little butt in your lap to listen to it. Maggie is pronouncing it so clearly now, with a heavy emphasis on the k at the end. Utterly adorable. They like to point at the things they know in the book and say the word. Look at my handsome little man.
July 22 - I have no idea why this was the only picture we took this day. If I had to guess I would say I either fell asleep early or was just lounging upstairs and it was getting close to the midnight cutoff for pictures. Either way, here it is for the day.
July 23 - Back in the pool! Look at those happy little faces, gleefully splashing like crazy. They do this in the bathtub too, but that's not as cute.
July 24 - I made myself a banana split for breakfast. Yeah, that's right. But hey, bananas, strawberries, blackberries, dairy. . .it's kinda healthy, right?
July 25 - Baby Ryan looking all pensive and handsome.
July 26 - Actually this is from the day before, shhh. It could be any day really, just hanging out, being cute, reading books.
July 27 - Double fisting, baby style. That's yogurt in the bowl. My thought was take fruit, dip in yogurt, happy babies. Their thought was "Mmm, yogurt is good in my mouth. On my hands and face, smeared around on my tray"
July 28 - Yet another great example of my group photo skills
July 29 - Happy Anniversary to us! 4 crazy years.
July 30 - Making attempts at a different hairstyle. Girl hair is tough, especially with a mommy who doesn't know how to do hair. I think I'm going to need to learn at some point soon, it's getting long!
July 31 - This is Maggie's friend Caitlyn. She is the daughter of one of my college friends. Her baby sister was baptised on this day, and we went to the party. Before we left, we got the kiddos in jammies, and I thought this was just the cutest thing with the little girls playing together in their footie pajamas.
August 1 - Ah, the joys of having your house on the market, and a hubby who likes to do projects.
August 2 - We bought actual milk in a glass jug from our local marker. It was a pretty good deal, and it made me feel all fuzzy inside. We only did it the once when they were out of Horizon whole milk, but still, it seemed like such a hippie thing to do.
August 3 - Got together with a couple other local MoMs Moms of Multiples) for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We look pretty good for women who have 7 children between them, don't we? This is the only problem with having a fancy camera. When you hand it off to a random waitress, they don't zoom, they don't know how you like the people to fill the frame, and you have to put in on Auto. the flash reflects, and. . .well, I could go on, but really, this is how so many people preserve their memories, right?
August 4 - Grandma and Grandpa are home from Florida! And they brought gifts! Mainly, they went crazy with the sales, and Ben and Maggie got a lot of new clothes. Thank you, we love you!
August 5 - We went to the wading pool and then the playground. They love the swings!
Let's pretend this one is August 6, shall we? :-)
August 7 - Triplets? Ben and Maggie with their cousin Brooke. She is 2 months older. Ben is showing off his advanced social skills by poking Brooke in the eye.
One more from the family reunion. Me, with a baby! I am always snapping the pictures of them with Andy, or other family members and no one ever gets them of me.
August 8 - I helped to throw a bridal shower for my friend Dawn. I'm in her wedding in September, and I'm so happy for her!
August 9 - One of my favorite pictures of Ben ever. Anyone know how I could get my kids into modeling? :-)
August 10 - 16 months old today! We went swimming with the Allens, and Maggie loved the pool and spent a lot of time in it. Without me though, because I was too busy chasing Ben around the yard and preventing him from falling off the deck or into the pool.
August 11 - It took forever but we are actually sitting in the tub! Sometimes. But only if you want them to be standing. Okay, that's it for now. Sorry for the long post, and the long break, but I think under the circumstances, I am lucky to not be in the loony bin. We did up my Zoloft, and I'm practically singing show tunes again, so I guess that's good.